What They Really Wanted
by lifesong
Summary: They always took everything but what they really wanted. shinokiba [shounenai]


_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters._

WARNING: there is shounen-ai (malexmale attraction/relationship) in this story - nothing graphic 

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**What They Really Wanted;** _by lifesong_

They would sit on the side of a lonely little hill every evening after dinner. Neither of them spoke about when they were to meet, there were no specific times or dates to be known. They just knew, as if by instinct, when to show up. And there they'd sit and simply exist, if only for a few hours.

It was beautiful, and both of them, though neither would admit it, secretly treasured every second they spent together. With the dangers of their careers heavy on their shoulders, both knew that every single moment mattered and that it should never be taken for granted. Both knew that fate could take everything away from them at any moment, so they took what they could from it first, even if it left them unsatisfied.

_They always took everything but what they really wanted._

Sometimes Kiba would talk, babbling incoherent nonsense to fill in the silence, or speaking sincerely about his goals and future. Sometimes he'd just talk to talk because that's what he did, or rather, what he thought he should do. He would mumble about the weather and what it'd be like the following day. He'd report town gossip and sometimes recite old stories and nursery rhymes. And sometimes he'd talk so much that he would forget what he was even talking about in the first place. He'd stumble awkwardly over his words before falling silent.

Most of the time Kiba would talk, but sometimes he didn't.

Shino liked those moments the most. Silence was his habitual preference. But when Kiba spoke, he listened. He would give the occasional nod and curt response when needed. He would tilt his head to the side and furrow his eyebrows. He did it so Kiba would know, or think, that he was interested. But sometimes Shino would find himself drifting. He would forget to listen to Kiba's words and would focus, instead, on the deep, resonating sound of his voice.

Most of the time Shino would listen, but sometimes he wouldn't.

As time went by they began to get closer. It was an unknowing and natural act. Kiba would shift nearer, seeming to pick at something interesting in the grass. Shino would lean back on his arms, angling his body so the distance became slightly less. Neither of them noticed, or if they did, they didn't seem to care.

Now they sat side by side, shoulder almost touching shoulder.

And, sometimes, Kiba would notice Shino's arm resting between them, open palm facing the sky. He would cautiously reach over and trace the contours of Shino's hand with his fingertips, feeling the heat and power flow through him without ever making skin-to-skin contact. He sometimes wished he could grab Shino's hand and intertwine their fingers, wanting to see how perfectly they fit together. He longed to feel it, but he never allowed himself to touch.

And Shino would sometimes glance at Kiba from behind his glasses and notice the way the light of the Konoha sunset would shine on his face, the faded orange glow complimenting the red tattoos on his cheeks, causing them to contrast sharply with his skin. Shino would sometimes want to reach up and trace the line of red with his fingers, but he always stopped himself.

Then there were times when they would almost give in.

Kiba would sometimes get bored and fall asleep on the grassy hillside, everything around illuminated by the light of the early moon. When his breathing became deep and his heartbeat rhythmic, Shino would allow himself to look. He'd study the way the breeze would play in his short dark hair, or muse silently on the way he would still talk, even in his sleep. Sometimes Shino would find himself wanting to lean over and taste him, just once. But Shino never did, he always resisted temptations.

And sometimes Shino would get up suddenly and leave without words or explanation. Kiba would grow angry and frustrated as he watched his spiky hair and ridiculous coat get farther away. He sometimes found himself wanting to chase after him, fling him to the ground, and kiss him senseless. But Kiba never did, he never gave into urges.

They each craved the other's touch, but both knew that they shouldn't.

Then there were times when, after twilight, they would walk home together in the dark. They'd amble through town in companionable silence, each one deep in their own thoughts. Then, all too soon, they'd reach the small street were their paths parted, each one living in opposite directions. Here they'd pause and face each other. Shino would give a slight nod and Kiba would whisper goodnight and they'd turn away, each one listening to the others footsteps as they faded into silence.

Each one wishing they were back on the small hillside, close, but not close enough.

Each one wishing they were able to tell the other what it was they truly wanted.

Each one wanting to love the other freely, but both knowing that they couldn't. 

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_**02.01.07 - 2:34pm; thursday**_

Ugh. That was my first fanfiction EVER. I have never written any before, or publicly displayed any of my writing at all for that matter. I would really love to know what you all think of it though. I decided to contribute somewhat to the depressingly small collection of shino/kiba fics on this site. I absolutely adore this pairing and I wish there were more of them out there.

Oh well, I've done my part to keep it active -salutes-  
Not sure when or if I will even post here again. I rarely have inspiration, and when I do I usually write original stories. Wish me luck though, I'll probably need it.

EDIT: Damn the formatting - I can't triple space with this darn thing –punches-


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